There’s tons of places to meet for coffee, hook-up, swipe right and imagine falling in love on the internet. No matter your faith, age or political leanings, there’s a site for you and hopefully someone else.
More doesn’t always mean better, and it’s hard to not get fed up with the status quo of online dating sites, with misrepresented profile pics, insincere intentions, and too much time spent ‘connecting’ before you even get to meet up. So, take it or leave it, but here are some suggestions for alternative ways to find someone.
- Go dancing: Surprise, surprise! You actually can learn a lot about how compatible you are with someone else by actually being in their presence. If you like dancing with someone, the odds are you might like being close to them in other ways, including emotionally. We’re physical beings at the root of it, and dancing exposes and showcases something very central to our being. If that all got too heady for you, it’s also good exercise and cheaper than spending the whole night eating and drinking.
- Go to a cafe: It sounds so weird and foreign to us now, but sometimes the best way to meet people is to…be around people. As Jerry Seinfeld famously says when told he should go to a party to meet girls “There’s girls everywhere. I go out of my apartment, there’s girls in the elevator. They’re in cafeterias, subways.” Point being, getting away from your computer and your dating apps and you might just ‘meet’ someone out in the world.
- Get set-up: This recommendation always gets people squirmy, because we’ve all gone on at least one bad blind date. It might be worth getting over that experience, because your friends friend is likely to be someone you at least get along with. The flip side of that is sometimes you might want to keep your worlds separate. Tell your pals your looking to meet someone and you might just get lucky.
- Try alternative dating options: Before the internet came around and changed everything about our lives, including dating, there were two of my favorite ways to meet new people, speed dating and phone chat lines. Why speed dating? Because it’s weird, fun, and you actually do get to meet a lot of new people who are actively looking to meet you. Also, people often go with friends, so if you meet someone you like, but don’t think they are quite your type, they may have a friend you like. Why phone dating, because in the age of pictures being everything, meeting someone over the phone gives you a fresh starting point for getting to know someone. It’s refreshing to take a different starting point. Another plus, if you’re a woman, is that most of the major lines, like Livelinks, give women free access (it’s like a club!). So it’s a no brainer for me.
- Go to the gym: This can be daunting, and potentially even embarrassing, for some people. There may be some who may have an asthma attack, but if you do feel comfortable working out, however, the gym could be a great place to meet other like-minded people. Fitness is a nice thing to share in a relationship, and if you go in knowing your partner is into being in shape, that’s a good starting point.
For 2018, try something new if the whole online-dating, tinder-app, what-you-see-isn’t-what-you-get game is not working out. The worst that can happen is you dance more, get some nice coffee, go out on another awkward date you have to explain to your friend, call a random line and talk to strangers, and get in shape (again!).