Most people have found themselves at some point in a relationship in which they are too emotionally dependent or clingy. Being clingy is not of any benefit to you as you may end up being frustrated and feeling that the relationship is not of help or value to you due to unmet needs. You must do more than making up your mind to stop being clingy as it is as a result of needs which at times you may not be in a position to control. If you are dating, being clingy and needy may make the relationship not to move to the next level or put so much strain on you thus be unhappy with the other person thus jeopardize the relationship.
Here are some tips that may be beneficial in helping you to stop being needy and clingy in a relationship:
Learn how to have your needs met by expressing them
Contrary to the common notion that asking your partner to meet your need will put so much unnecessary pressure on them and on the relationship, not actually asking to have them fulfilled makes you needy. The locking of needs inside yourself generates neediness in the relationship. Putting across your needs takes the weight off your shoulders and makes things to move ahead. Also, we get clear answers so we can decide on the next course of action. A good example may be a woman who fears to disclose to a man she interacts with that she loves him, and she suffers lack of sleep, restlessness and lack of focus. If she expresses her need, the relationship may flourish or have the man state his thoughts on the same thus end the neediness.
Work on yourself to develop your confidence
A major cause of being clingy is not being happy with yourself and thinking that you are inadequate. You may feel insecure and fear to be left or to be ignored. Also, there may be some feeling of paranoia that those who love you or hang out with you do so because there may not be other people to like you eventually. You need to drop such feelings and do everything you can to love yourself hence you will not over occupy yourself with thoughts of others leaving you hence not be clingy. You can build confidence in yourself by thinking of the things that you are exceptionally good at, so you appreciate and love yourself. Also, be happy in being good at something be it entertaining others or singing, and portray the signs of a confident person- standing tall, having arms away from your chest and put on a smile all the times. In addition, work on your weaknesses.
Sort out your trust issues
Majority of clingy people have a thing to do with their trust issues – maybe they were cheated on by a lover, they were abandoned as young kids or were betrayed by people they trusted a lot. The past occurrences could have been extremely hurting but you must learn to get into any new relationship without those things on your mind and realize the past has little or no influence on the future. To solve the trust problems you need to learn to let go of people or circumstances that caused you so much pain, and purpose to build other healthy relationships in the future. Also, make yourself to know that being clingy does not keep people but may even make them go. You need to be patient with yourself and not be frustrated because you cannot sort trust issues abruptly but with small steps and not being on receiving end all the time you can make some progress.